Everyone has their insecurities, I am no different. I am the biggest critic of myself and can tear myself down in 2.3 seconds. Jordin and I watched A Wrinkle in Time directed by Ava DuVernay yesterday, the movie was amazing and loved that one of the highlights was your faults can be your strengths. However, Jordin has been low-key telling me this since January. I am going to only share a couple of things he has changed about my perspective about who I am because he has helped me see myself in a new, brighter light in so many ways.
The first thing is I have some crazy unpredictable hair that grows in 3 different textures and to add to it, I dye or cut it when I am stressed out. So I wore wigs quite a bit, still do time to time, to not have to deal with daily maintenance. Jordin, since he was a toddler, was pretty particular about my wigs… he told me I should wear only curly hair and never in black. LOL. He has been opinionated his whole life. But recently he asked me why do I cover up my real hair because it is way cooler. Whoa! Wasn’t that an ego buster? Confidence begets confidence. The more I embraced my crazy hair and my amateur, impulsive hair dye jobs, the more people complimented my carefree style. Loving it.
I believe I have written about it before, I was a big stutterer growing up and the side effects of stuttering have become part of my personality. I hate people paying attention to me and use the least amount of words to say anything. So it can come across abrasive or as my wife says I do not have “tact”. The problem is when I try to be tactful, what I am saying is so vague, no one knows what I am talking about and I forget my point. When I communicate with Jordin, I am very direct. Jemarie thinks I am hurting his feelings. But I asked him about how I talk to him, he told me he did not mind it because he always knows what I mean and how I feel about something. I was like EUREKA! I’ve always thought I was horrible at expressing my feelings. This kid. He gets me. 🙂 To me, I took from it was I am able to express my wants and feelings that create clear boundaries and some people just don’t like boundaries.
Don’t underestimate how awesome you may be to the people around you. The things you hate about yourself could be just the thing your family, friends, and admirers love about you. Embrace your faults, because they are your strengths and make you, you. ❤